Modded MC best server software

SO, i read on a different thread that RAM allocation is based on the software you have installed on your server.

I am running a Forge modded Server in 1.16.5 and was wondering what is the best version of forge, server settings etc that is best aligned with aternos and can provide the Most RAM possible. The server is only going to be played By 3 people

If there are server optimization mods out there then i will happily accept advice about them!

[we cannot have optifine, as we have twilight forest installed and there are conflictions]

Quote from Roman

Don't choose the software based on the allocated RAM.

Choose it according to your needs.

of course i am not going to chose based on only RAM, i have a set of parameters, I just wanted to know what is the best combination of software out there to get the Most RAM, like maybe aternos favours a specific version of forge, Or a specific version etc