Weird error when modding 1.19

So I've spent quite a few hours (6 hours to be exact) trying to figure this out. My girlfriend and I used to play on a modded 1.12.2 server with over 30 mods and we never really got a problem, server would start up normally, even faster than our 1.19 modded server.

For some reason which I suspect is the fact that since it's free the server doesn't provide enough RAM for the mods, whenever I add more than a certain amount of mods the server doesn't let me in showing me one of two errors which I'll submit pictures of.

I've been trying to figure out how to fix it cause it doesn't make any sense that on the 1.12.2 it lets me have over 30+ mods, a few being 100mb+, and on this 1.19 server I can have no more than 7 mods (counting relations) the heaviest being 23mb. If I do try to have more than 7 mods it just doesn't let me in the server. When I checked the logs it kept saying lost connection or "Can't keep up! Is the server overloading?" when I have more RAM on the 1.19 (2600) compared to the 1.12.2 (2200) and the 1.19 having way less mods.

So any help or is it just an overloading problem? Here are the logs: https://mclo.gs/nCabww1

(Forgot to add that when I only have 7 mods it lets me in normally and we can play, zero lag, zero disconnections, everything normal. But when we add more than 7, even a small 100kb one, it doesn't let us in.)

Hey Roman, thanks for the reply. I tested this making sure the mods matched adding a random mod, in this case sophisticated backpacks 1.19-3.18.9.661 and sophisticated core 1.19-0.4.10.87.

I knew that couldn't be the problem since before making this post I recreated the entire server with the same mods, still the same problem. But since you mentioned it I decided to try it one more time.

Still the same problem, I'll post the logs since now I got the "Can't keep up! Is the server overloaded?" error.

-> https://mclo.gs/amb8Dla

Any help? I am running out of ideas on what to do.

Edit: The weird thing is the TPS and RAM looks fine, so it couldn't be overloaded.

I am guessing this is the client log, and the tlauncher log take a look at them and let me know if you need anything else.

I thought of it being a bugged mod or unused mod that was lagging the server, so I tested plenty times the compatibility by booting up server and client using just a few mods, no errors till I started adding more than 7 mods and that was just server sided, I can add all the mods client side and it'll work just fine, no crashes. Even if I start a new world.

If you need to communicate directly with me let me know, I've been trying to fix this for quite a while now. Just desperate at this point, haha. As I said let me know if you need anything else.

Here are the client logs now posted on the correct format: https://mclo.gs/WsnzVc4

Yes, my girl doesn't use OptiFine and she can't join either.