"internal exception java.io.ioexception connection reset by peer"

My 1.14.4 Aternos server starts up normally, the only issue i have is when I try to join it, every time I do a message pops up saying "internal exception java.io.ioexception: connection reset by peer",

My friends can join it perfectly fine with ping thats around 200-300ms, but when I join I get 1000-4000ms, sometimes it hits 10,000, then usually it would say connection lost, but for the past few days it straight up wouldn't let me in.

I know my wifi isn't the problem because when I join other servers, for example Hypixel I get around 200-300ms.

Please help, I want to play on my server again.

but ive been able to join it just fine before with ping thats around 200-300